Living on borrowed time. It’s a phrase my husband and I joke about frequently. Some may call it sick humor, but reality is I’m four years into this 2 to 5 year life span of mine. Four years with stable scans and no new growth. I consider myself blessed that Ibrance is still working for me. Thank you Pfizer. On Monday I had my last scan of 2020 and am blessed to celebrate stable! No growth, no shrinking just stable. Stable use to make me sad because I wanted the cancer to shrink. (Trust me I still do) However, I have lost so many friends I have met along my journey that I now feel like I have won the lottery with stable news!
2020 has brought us all challenges and devastation. I always try to focus on the good that comes out of situations. For me 2020 slowed life down. We were definitely that family that was overbooked and always on the go. As one of my favorite people would say, we were always trying to shove 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag. I have learned a lot about myself in 2020. I learned what slowing down can do for me physically. How much better I can feel with proper rest and exercise. How important taking time for myself truly is. I stopped working my full time career with Blue Sky Vision in October. Instead of waking up to emails, now I wake up pray, sit in the hot tub and do yoga. The amount of energy and peace this has brought me is incredible. To quit working was a tough decision, I always thought if I stopped working I was letting cancer win, I prayed daily for months regarding the direction I should go. Then, one day I realized cancer wasn’t winning if I stopped working. I was winning. I finally get to decide who and what gets my energy for the day. I have rode my bike countless miles since then, read books, sewed gifts, cooked meals and cleaned so many closets out. I no longer have to rely so heavily on my family to help around the house because I have the extra energy to do things. Each day I would get out of work and nap, because I was exhausted. I think I have taken two naps since October. I truly believe I’m helping my quality of life and extending my life. It was time to slow down and take care of myself. I’m so blessed to have this opportunity and so thankful to have the support of my family.
Do something for yourself today. Even if you simply take 5 minutes to reflect on life. Slow down and do something for yourself. Consider making it part of your daily routine.
Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2021.
Peace and Hugs,
Chris
