When I was diagnosed with a terminal illness I instantly went into survival mode. I wanted to live every moment as meaningful as I could. I made my bucket list and immediately started checking items off of it, jumping out of airplanes or off the top of a building. Taking my family to watch Michigan play in the Peach Bowl. I have taken my children places I never thought we would be able to go, I have traveled with lifelong friends to incredible places, I have spent time with college friends I hadn’t seen in years. I have been able to watch my children grow into young adults. I have a box for each of my kids, I fill it with things I want them to have when I’m gone. Family recipes, cards I have written for special occasions I may not be here to enjoy, a journal that I write in for each of them, prayers I say for them. You see, when you have a terminal illness and you know your life will be cut much shorter than you want, you have time to prepare for these things. Your able to have tough conversations, you can buy your daughter something blue to have with her on her wedding day. You can mend broken relationships, take care of unfinished business, and plan for the days when your family is here without you. Of course I pray and strive to be here all of those days, but cancer may not allow that to happen. When you have a terminal illness, living in the moment becomes very real. Living with no regrets becomes a priority. Then sometimes things happen in life, twists and turns and we are reminded yet again we aren’t in control. The Lord is, he chooses our path. We get to choose how we react to it. Three weeks ago our best friend was taken from us unexpectedly. He was supposed to take care of my family when I was gone. He was going to be the strong one for them, that was our plan. Craig didn’t get to prepare to be taken to soon, his parents, siblings, friends none of us got to prepare for him to suddenly be gone. So shouldn’t we all live with no regrets? Each day we should chose the Lord, kindness and love. All any of us truly have is this moment right now. As time passes and reality sets in that Craig isn’t going to walk back through our door it becomes more apparent to me than ever to live with no regrets.
As far as cancer and my health goes, since I have been on my new treatment plan, I have spent 4 nights in the hospital, had about every side effect my new meds have to offer, kidney stones, another break from treatment as my liver enzymes, potassium, and glucose have all been out of wack and now I’m back on treatment at a lower dose, praying my body tolerates this better. Well be scanning soon to see if it’s working. I keep doing all the things I did before and will continue to as long as I can because we should never take our health for granted.
#getbusyliving
This is a picture from when we attended the Peach Bowl one of my favorite memories with some of my favorite people
Peace and love,
Chris Stark
