Get Busy Living

 Since my last update, I have traveled to California with dear friends.  We visited Lake Tahoe, hiked some of Yosemite, hit some wineries in Napa Valley, went to the Coast, and San Francisco.  This was a bucket list trip for me, and I have great friends that made it happen.  The picture of me is in Yosemite resting on a rock over looking Sentinel Dome. One of the most beautiful places.  It was so peaceful and quite here, I could of sat there for hours soaking in the beauty of the mountains.  

I started new treatment in June after we found out that my current treatment of 4 1/2 years wasn't working any longer.  The new treatment started off fine, then I got the stomach flu, became severely dehydrated and spent a few nights in the hospital.  Ever since that time I hadn't really been able to tolerate my new treatment, it was causing my blood work to be really off, I had zero appetite and just felt crummy.  So we took a break for a few weeks, my blood work went back to normal and we restarted the same treatment on a lower dose.  I have been tolerating that much better, my blood work is back within normal ranges, I have an appetite again and feel better, except for the fact that I have been dealing with kidney stones for the last month.

Monday I had a CT scan to see how the new treatment is working.  We didn't get the news we were hoping for.  We found out that I have two new spots of breast cancer in my lungs.  A new spot in my right lung where the previous breast cancer is and also now a spot in my left lung, along with some increased plural effusion.  Also, imaging picked up that I my kidneys are "chucked full" as the PA put it of kidney stones.  Yesterday I met with urology to discuss the kidney stones, I have one in particular that is stuck, so I will be having surgery to have that removed. (unless I pass it before surgery which is my preference) Once they have the stone they will study it and we will see what we can do to prevent future stones.  Today I met with Dr. Alguire my oncologist to discuss my new progression and options that we have.  So far we have a tentative plan, we are going to start with a biopsy. This will tell us what my new growth is growing from.  In the past my tumors have grown off of estrogen.  If that is still the case, then I will be starting a clinical trial possibly along with another treatment.  If my receptors have changed then we will discuss chemotherapy options.  For the meantime I will be continuing the current treatment I am on.  Since I had to take a break from it, we want to be sure we gave it enough time to work.  So much information, so many things to research.  Cancer is complicated, it is tricky and smart, it finds ways to outsmart treatment and show up in new places.  It is ugly, expensive and exhausting.  

I honestly feel pretty good for a cancer patient.  Of course I have side effects to my treatment that aren't pretty, but I am able to live a fairly normal life still and I am grateful for that..  Life is to short with or without cancer to spend it being sad about my progression.  I will continue to do what I always do, surrendering to the Lord, he has a plan for me and all I can do is chose how I react to it.  I will chose to be happy, continue to love the life I have and Get Busy Living. 

Yesterday we celebrated Bryce's 21st birthday, Monday night we celebrated Brooke's induction to the National Honor Society.  Peyton is still at Cornerstone and is also on the basketball team.  Each week we attend Hope College Football games to watch Bryce and the team play. I am so blessed to be well enough to do these things and I won't take a moment of that time for granted.  

Peace and love,

Chris Stark

No Regrets

 When I was diagnosed with a terminal illness I instantly went into survival mode.  I wanted to live every moment as meaningful as I could.  I made my bucket list and immediately started checking items off of it, jumping out of airplanes or off the top of a building.  Taking my family to watch Michigan play in the Peach Bowl.  I have taken my children places I never thought we would be able to go, I have traveled with lifelong friends to incredible places, I have spent time with college friends I hadn’t seen in years.  I have been able to watch my children grow into young adults.  I have a box for each of my kids, I fill it with things I want them to have when I’m gone.  Family recipes, cards I have written for special occasions I may not be here to enjoy, a journal that I write in for each of them, prayers I say for them.  You see, when you have a terminal illness and you know your life will be cut much shorter than you want, you have time to prepare for these things.  Your able to have tough conversations, you can buy your daughter something blue to have with her on her wedding day. You can mend broken relationships, take care of unfinished business, and plan for the days when your family is here without you.  Of course I pray and strive to be here all of those days, but cancer may not allow that to happen.  When you have a terminal illness, living in the moment becomes very real.  Living with no regrets becomes a priority.  Then sometimes things happen in life, twists and turns and we are reminded yet again we aren’t in control.  The Lord is, he chooses our path.  We get to choose how we react to it.  Three weeks ago our best friend was taken from us unexpectedly.  He was supposed to take care of my family when I was gone.  He was going to be the strong one for them, that was our plan.  Craig didn’t get to prepare to be taken to soon, his parents, siblings, friends none of us got to prepare for him to suddenly be gone. So shouldn’t we all live with no regrets? Each day we should chose the Lord, kindness and love.  All any of us truly have is this moment right now.  As time passes and reality sets in that Craig isn’t going to walk back through our door it becomes more apparent to me than ever to live with no regrets.  

As far as cancer and my health goes, since  I have been on my new treatment plan, I have spent 4 nights in the hospital, had about every side effect my new meds have to offer, kidney stones, another break from treatment as my liver enzymes, potassium, and glucose have all been out of wack and now I’m back on treatment at a lower dose, praying my body tolerates this better.  Well be scanning soon to see if it’s working.  I keep doing all the things I did before and will continue to as long as I can because we should never take our health for granted. 

#getbusyliving 

This is a picture from when we attended the Peach Bowl  one of my favorite memories with some of my favorite people   

Peace and love,

Chris Stark

We knew this day would come.....

     Four and a half years ago when I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer we knew the day would come that my first line treatment would stop working.  I was very blessed to have lived life over cancer for 4 and 1/2 years with minimal side effects.  During a routine scan it was discovered that the breast cancer in the lining of my right lung is growing.  The good news is, it hasn't spread anywhere else!  So what does this mean for us?  It means that I will no longer be taking Ibrance or receive Faslodex.  The cancer has out smarted that line of drugs and its time for something new.  I am working with my oncology team to come up with a new plan.  Right now we are working to determine if the cancer is in an area that can be biopsied.  Breast Cancer over time can change, my original tumor grew off of estrogen, so estrogen blockers were an effective treatment.  A biopsy would be able to tell us what this current tumor is feeding off of and what the best line of treatment would be.  

    The hardest part of all of this is telling my kids.  Bryce (20) is half way through college, still playing football, living on his own, working hard and is such a kind young adult.  It brings me so much joy to watch my kids grow, and become adults and do the things they love.  I don't want them for a second to stop living their life because of me, I don't think they understand the joy it brings a parent to watch them thrive and grow. Peyton (20) is attending Cornerstone University, playing on the basketball team and growing each day into an incredible young man.  Brooke (17) just finishing up her junior year in high school is a thriving student, an athlete who is running in the track state finals, an incredibly hard worker and a pure joy to be around.   My prayer for them is that during these hard and heavy times they turn to the Lord to lift them and help carry their burdens, that they know his plan is bigger than any of ours. 

    We learn so much about ourselves when we face trying times, without a doubt I would be in a dark place if I didn't have Jesus in my life.  I have learned to live for today, this moment make it count.  To be kind, you never know the battle someone else is facing. To do the things that make you happy and bring you joy. Get Busy Living! 

We welcome all prayers, for a good biopsy, strength and healing! 

Love and Peace,

Chris, Jeff, Bryce, Peyton and Brooke

Lauren Daigle - Trust In You (Live) - YouTube

Living on Borrowed Time

Living on borrowed time.  It’s a phrase my husband and I joke about frequently.  Some may call it sick humor, but reality is I’m four years into this 2 to 5 year life span of mine.  Four years with stable scans and no new growth. I consider myself blessed that Ibrance is still working for me. Thank you Pfizer.  On Monday I had my last scan of 2020 and am blessed to celebrate stable! No growth, no shrinking just stable. Stable use to make me sad because I wanted the cancer to shrink. (Trust me I still do) However, I have lost so many friends I have met along my journey that I now feel like I have won the lottery with stable news! 

2020 has brought us all challenges and devastation. I always try to focus on the good that comes out of situations. For me 2020 slowed life down.  We were definitely that family that was overbooked and always on the go.  As one of my favorite people would say, we were always trying to shove 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag.  I have learned a lot about myself in 2020.  I learned what slowing down can do for me physically. How much better I can feel with proper rest and exercise.  How important taking time for myself truly is.  I stopped working my full time career with Blue Sky Vision in October. Instead of waking up to emails, now I wake up pray, sit in the hot tub and do yoga. The amount of energy and peace this has brought me is incredible.  To quit working was a tough decision, I always thought if I stopped working I was letting cancer win, I prayed daily for months regarding the direction I should go.  Then, one day I realized cancer wasn’t winning if I stopped working. I was winning. I finally get to decide who and what gets my energy for the day.  I have rode my bike countless miles since then, read books, sewed gifts, cooked meals and cleaned so many closets out.  I no longer have to rely so heavily on my family to help around the house because I have the extra energy to do things.  Each day I would get out of work and nap, because I was exhausted.  I think I have taken two naps since October.  I truly believe I’m helping my quality of life and extending my life.  It was time to slow down and take care of myself.  I’m so blessed to have this opportunity and so thankful to have the support of my family.  

Do something for yourself today. Even if you simply take 5 minutes to reflect on life. Slow down and do something for yourself. Consider making it part of your daily routine. 

Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2021.

Peace and Hugs,

Chris 

Sharing Faith

                                             



As a young adult if anyone ever told me that I would face cancer at 30 years young, I would of said, that won't happen to me! If anyone would of told me 9 years later at 39 I would be facing stage 4 cancer with no cure, I would of said, that won't happen to me!  If anyone told me that in my lifetime we would experience a world pandemic that would put the United States at a stand still, I wouldn't of believed them.  Again, here we are at this time I didn't think I would ever see.....

I won't lie, in the beginning days of COVID-19, I didn't think that it would stop me from living the life I am used to.  For those of you who know me well you know that I have two motto's that I live by. One is "Get Busy Living" and the other is,"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it is about learning to dance in the rain."  So, of course I was going to get busy living.  No pandemic was going to stop me from our planned vacation. Well it did, it cancelled school, sports, stopped me from stepping foot in a business for an extended period of time and so many other things.  My sons freshman year of college as they have known it on campus has been cut short. The last day my high school daughter spent in a classroom as a sophomore was in March. Bryce and Peyton are swimming in the waters of online zoom classes in our country home with limited WiFi and my daughter is filling her time trying new recipes, learning to cook and bake instead of attending high school and running track.  Life feels like we are living in a bad movie some days.

We all have a different story. Our reasons for the way we react to this pandemic are all different. For me it is because I have a weakened immune system even though most days I appear to be very healthy.  I have breast cancer in my lungs, COVID-19 would likely kill me. Some days it overwhelms me to no end, on those days I pray for strength. Some days I am so productive I forget the nightmare we are living in right now, those days I thank God for the strength I was given. Some people have fear because they are suddenly not be working and will loose health insurance or not be able to pay bills during this time.  Some people maybe recovering addicts now stuck at home and isolated.  Some are having to change wedding plans and baby showers, some are dying alone because visitors aren't allowed in many hospitals.  Whatever your story is you are in my prayers.  If you aren't a believer you still have my prayers.  I haven't stepped foot in a business in over 23 days.  Daily I walk or ride my bike, usually to the Lakeshore because that is my happy place. I didn't hoard toilet paper during this pandemic, I was a paint hoarder previously to the pandemic, for over a year I have had 6 gallons of paint sitting in my basement waiting for a rainy day or the energy to paint. Needless to say we have found ways to also put the paint to good use with our extra time.  We have had our children take turns preparing dinner.  It has been fun to see what they come up with and how independent they can be. The boys have been chopping and stacking wood.  Brooke stays busy organizing things and working out.  It brings a smile to my face watch her sprint past the window when I look outside. I am working, but from home which I thank God daily for. Jeff is laid off due to COVID-19, we don't usually take stay-cations, whenever we use vacation time we are usually off exploring somewhere, so many of our unfinished projects are being completed while he is home.  This is all new to us, and we would much rather be carrying on with life as we knew it two months ago, I thank God everyday we are under one roof together, that we are healthy and finding ways to keep busy. I personally could not get through this tough time without my Faith in God.  Prayer keeps me strong when it could be so easy to be weak.

Regardless of your political views, rather you like Trump or not, want Governor Whitmer recalled or think she is doing a great job. Maybe you lost a loved one during this pandemic and didn't get to lay them to rest the way you needed, to have the closure.  You might own a business big or small and fear it may not make it through this pandemic. You might be home with young kids driving you crazy, or home all alone like our 93 year old Grandmother is. You might have been in the middle of infertility treatments and now those are put off. Maybe you are working on the front lines exposed to COVID daily.  Whatever it is you are doing,  it is a scary time. Sometimes that fear makes me say things or act in ways I don't want to.  Each time I start to feel fear take over, I remind myself, "Faith over Fear"  Faith over Fear is what keeps me pushing through living life with cancer and it will be what gets me through the trying times of this global pandemic. If I can pray for you, please send me a message and let me know!  I would be honored to say a prayer for you too. 




One of my favorite worship songs...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGYjKR69M6U



Peace and Hugs,
Chris

Survivors Guilt (It is a thing)

Survivors Guilt, it really is a thing.  Boy, do I ever struggle with it!  I don't even know where to start.  In September of 2018 I had a trip planned with my friend Erin. Within 2 weeks of the departure of our trip she sent me a text that she had to have emergency surgery because her cancer had spread to her bones..... She wouldn't be able to make the trip we had planned.  I felt guilty, guilty that I had stage 4 cancer just like her.  Guilty that I still felt well, that I had been riding the STABLE ride. My sweet friend Erin, she died a few months later.  She left behind three young boys.  I got to watch my boy be part of the homecoming court,  play in a state championship football game, attend his senior prom and graduate from high school. I watched my daughter run in the track state finals as a freshman, turn 16 and drive out of our driveway for the first time all by herself. I went on a family vacation and also celebrated 20 years of marriage. Don't get me wrong, I was so EXCITED that I got to be a part of all of that, but there is an extreme feeling of guilt that also goes along with LIVING with metastatic breast cancer.  This spring, a young girl and her father from our community lives were taken in an accident, shortly after that my friend never woke from his sleep.  This isn't supposed to happen.  They should out live me by YEARS.  I have metastatic breast cancer.  I am nearly 3 years into my 2 to 5 year life span.  While I mourn the loss of their lives and I try to support their families I live with this guilty feeling.  It really is a tough thing. Today, I received the news that my cancer is STABLE.  Not growing, not shrinking, it is STABLE.  STABLE in my world is awesome!  At the end of the day, the lesson to be learned is, LIFE it is short.  Shorter than we could ever want it to be.  Live, live every single day.  Live life happily. Live it well. Live life to the fullest!  Be kind, be present in the moment and praise God!  Today, I received the news that my cancer is STABLE.... I hope and pray I ride this STABLE ride for a long long time!

Thanks to everyone who continues to pray for my health!

Here are a few fun photos of the last few months!


The Boys at graduation!


Brooke running!


Friends celebrating life overlooking the Grand Canyon!

If you haven't checked out the song Broken Vessels Amazing Grace yet, please do!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiyYoe678yI

and of course, #getbusyliving

Peace and Joy,
Chris Stark

Intentional......

Am I being intentional? Do I execute my thoughts and feelings? So much on my mind these days......  I haven't posted an update about my health in awhile.  Trust me, the thought crosses my mind often. But I am busy.....  And I hate it when people use busy as an excuse, we are all busy.  But honestly I am busy!  I am busy living with a purpose.

It has been two years since my metastatic breast cancer diagnosis.  The first year was filled with surgery, doctors appointments, side effects and adjustments to the new normal, all while trying to fit everything from my bucket list into one year because honestly I had to live, and I had to hurry. 

The second year I decided to slow down some, reflect, journal and find my purpose.  Don't get me wrong, I am still checking items off my bucket list, and I still believe we all need to get busy living, but I want to do all of that with a purpose.  When you tell someone you are praying for them, are you really praying for them?  Or do you just tell them that because that is what people say when they don't know what else to say? I am blessed to have some very intentional prayer warriors in my court. I often receive text messages or cards in the mail with friends prayers for me.  That is intention, and purpose.

As I move into year three with metastatic cancer, I am blessed to have a loving family, friends, a career and I feel well. I am still on my first line treatment and side effects are minimal.  My December scan showed that my cancer is "stable".  Stable in cancerland means that cancer isn't growing or shrinking.  This is good news.  I thank the Lord every day that I am stable.......

During the past year we have traveled to the UP, camped, hiked, kayaked, visited Mackinac Island and truly enjoyed "Pure Michigan"

For Christmas we took a family trip to Georgia to watch Michigan play in the Peach Bowl.  While it wasn't the outcome we wanted it was a memory that we will never forget.

Bryce is a high school senior this year, and we have enjoyed every moment of his last year so far.  Below is one of our favorite senior pictures along with one of our favorite photos of him during the Division 6 State Football Finals.

During the past year and a half we have welcomed an extra teenager into our home. Below is one of his senior pictures.  Peyton has been a blessing to our family and we love having him around.

Brooke started her freshman year this year and is currently on the JV basketball team.  We have enjoyed watching her gain confidence and grow this past year.  Below is a picture of her after she made her first 3 point basket and also a picture of her and Bryce before the homecoming dance.

I truly enjoy each day and I am thankful for each moment that I have to get busy living intentionally and with purpose.

I wish you all a healthy happy 2019.  Most of all remember to take time to soak up the moments and enjoy life.