6 weeks at a time...

It has been one year since I started clinical trials.  I have had a CT scan every 6 weeks for the last year.  Yesterday as I laid in the CT machine, I said to the technician, "the results from the next 5 minutes determines my life path for the next 6 weeks."  I am so grateful to qualify for clinical trials, but at the same time they are a lot of work.  With a trial you are monitored very closely, and often.  In the past two months I have had 22 doctor's appointments and a surgery. That definitely puts a crimp in my "Get Busy Living" routine. But I am here, I continue to qualify for the ever-changing science world, and the results from my scan yesterday show that my treatment is working.  A few of my tumors have shrunk in the last six weeks and there is no new growth.  Qualifying for a clinical trial when you have cancer is like winning the lottery. (that's life in the cancer world) So, for the next 6 weeks I will continue to receive intravenous chemotherapy every other week and then we will scan again.  I am also incredibly grateful that my side effects tend to be minimal and overall, I have a pretty awesome quality of life.  

Fall has been fun for our family!  Last weekend we had a half marathon run\bike along the shore of White Lake with the beautiful fall colors.  I borrowed a friends e-bike which was a total blast!  E-bikes are a game changer.  While I might be able to pedal 13 miles, it would definitely put me in bed for a few days following.  With cancer, you have to learn your boundaries.  That is one of the hardest things about having cancer and the side effects of cancer treatments. You are not able to do things you once did.  If you learn one thing from me, don't take the things you are able to do for granted, because some day those things might change. I can't get up and go for a run like I once did.  I can bike, but I have to be prepared to pay for it in the days following.  I must say though, it was pretty fun cruising up the hills on the e-bike flying by my friends pedaling their hardest to make it up hill. :) 

                                            Pictures of the half marathon participates. 

I was also able to sneak away for 6 days and drive with my snowbird friend Michelle down to Naples.  We had a great time during our car ride, laughing about old stories, talking about life, being real about our feelings, listening to audio books and crime stories.  I cherish those car rides with her every year, and I hope I am able to continue our tradition for years to come.  This year we spent a few days in Huntsville Alabama with Michelles Uncle Bob. Huntsville is a great town, and it was awesome to get to know Uncle Bob and hear about Michelles childhood. 

    

The kids are great.  Bryce is a Senior already; he will graduate in December 2023 with a Bachelors in Exercise Science.  Brooke is a Freshman at GVSU and off to a great start!  Peyton is taking a semester off of school and is working as he decides what he wants to do.  They are all healthy, happy and I am still here to watch them grow and succeed.  

Keep the prayers coming, they are working!  We praise God every day! 

Get Busy Living!

Love and Peace,

Chris

Gratitude and Thanksgiving

 I was 30 years old when I was diagnosed with Stage 2 cancer, did everything I could to irradicate the cancer from my body and at one point was deemed cancer free.  At 39 years old, cancer came back, this time stage 4, breast cancer had shown up in the lining on my left lung. At 43 years old the cancer had grown in my left lung some more and 3 months later the cancer entered my right lung as well.  I also had pleural effusion in the right lung. My medical team suggested a clinical trial made by Pfizer for me. I have all the markers that make me a good candidate for this trial. So, 9 weeks ago I entered the Pfizer clinical trial and had my first scan last week.  The results of my scan show that the tumor in my right lung and the pleural effusion are GONE, GONE after 8 weeks of the clinical trial!  I still have the old cancer in my left lung, however knowing even some of it is gone is amazing!  The plan is to continue the clinical trial and be scanned again in 8 weeks.  That will be the plan for as long as this new chemotherapy works.  No one knows how long this ride will last however we will enjoy every minute of it!  Life is too short for anyone not to enjoy every minute.

I have so much Thanksgiving and Gratitude to God, Science and Oncology Research.  Without all of them I wouldn't be where I am today.  If you're looking to make a donation to a cancer organization, please donate to Hope Scarves.  Founded by my friend and Whitehall native Lara.  Hope Scarves Hope Scarves | Scarves, stories & research donations will go directly to Metastatic (stage 4) breast cancer research.   Please continue to pray for me, my family, science, research and my fellow friends also facing metastatic breast cancer.

As for the rest of our life, things are good.  I retired from my career at Blue Sky Vision in October of 2020, it has been a great decision.  I now use my energy on my family, around the house and can focus on selfcare instead of coming home from work exhausted and napping.  I am on a much better sleep schedule and can manage chemotherapy side effects much better. I do pour beer once a week at North Grove Brewery in Montague, usually on Monday's. It is a fun job, gets me out of the house and brings in some extra spending money for my adventures. Jeff and I rang in the New Year in Florida with our lifelong friends, it was just the trip and time with friends we needed. We also visited the Hiltz family checked out their adorable winter home and met their good friends.  Brooke is a senior in high school and will be attending GVSU in the fall and plans to become a Physician Assistant. Bryce is a junior at Hope College majoring in Exercise Science and will be doing an internship this summer at the University of Kansas under Matt Gildersleeve who is the Director of Football Sports Performance for the Jayhawks. Peyton is a junior at Cornerstone and perusing a degree in Education.  They were all home for Christmas, and it was great to be together again! Celebrating life, Christmas, attending church, breaking bread and playing games all under one roof. 

I will leave you with PSALM 106:1 Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

#getbusyliving

                                            Family Picture at Christmas

                                            Time with the Hiltz family and friends in Florida

Get Busy Living

 Since my last update, I have traveled to California with dear friends.  We visited Lake Tahoe, hiked some of Yosemite, hit some wineries in Napa Valley, went to the Coast, and San Francisco.  This was a bucket list trip for me, and I have great friends that made it happen.  The picture of me is in Yosemite resting on a rock over looking Sentinel Dome. One of the most beautiful places.  It was so peaceful and quite here, I could of sat there for hours soaking in the beauty of the mountains.  

I started new treatment in June after we found out that my current treatment of 4 1/2 years wasn't working any longer.  The new treatment started off fine, then I got the stomach flu, became severely dehydrated and spent a few nights in the hospital.  Ever since that time I hadn't really been able to tolerate my new treatment, it was causing my blood work to be really off, I had zero appetite and just felt crummy.  So we took a break for a few weeks, my blood work went back to normal and we restarted the same treatment on a lower dose.  I have been tolerating that much better, my blood work is back within normal ranges, I have an appetite again and feel better, except for the fact that I have been dealing with kidney stones for the last month.

Monday I had a CT scan to see how the new treatment is working.  We didn't get the news we were hoping for.  We found out that I have two new spots of breast cancer in my lungs.  A new spot in my right lung where the previous breast cancer is and also now a spot in my left lung, along with some increased plural effusion.  Also, imaging picked up that I my kidneys are "chucked full" as the PA put it of kidney stones.  Yesterday I met with urology to discuss the kidney stones, I have one in particular that is stuck, so I will be having surgery to have that removed. (unless I pass it before surgery which is my preference) Once they have the stone they will study it and we will see what we can do to prevent future stones.  Today I met with Dr. Alguire my oncologist to discuss my new progression and options that we have.  So far we have a tentative plan, we are going to start with a biopsy. This will tell us what my new growth is growing from.  In the past my tumors have grown off of estrogen.  If that is still the case, then I will be starting a clinical trial possibly along with another treatment.  If my receptors have changed then we will discuss chemotherapy options.  For the meantime I will be continuing the current treatment I am on.  Since I had to take a break from it, we want to be sure we gave it enough time to work.  So much information, so many things to research.  Cancer is complicated, it is tricky and smart, it finds ways to outsmart treatment and show up in new places.  It is ugly, expensive and exhausting.  

I honestly feel pretty good for a cancer patient.  Of course I have side effects to my treatment that aren't pretty, but I am able to live a fairly normal life still and I am grateful for that..  Life is to short with or without cancer to spend it being sad about my progression.  I will continue to do what I always do, surrendering to the Lord, he has a plan for me and all I can do is chose how I react to it.  I will chose to be happy, continue to love the life I have and Get Busy Living. 

Yesterday we celebrated Bryce's 21st birthday, Monday night we celebrated Brooke's induction to the National Honor Society.  Peyton is still at Cornerstone and is also on the basketball team.  Each week we attend Hope College Football games to watch Bryce and the team play. I am so blessed to be well enough to do these things and I won't take a moment of that time for granted.  

Peace and love,

Chris Stark

No Regrets

 When I was diagnosed with a terminal illness I instantly went into survival mode.  I wanted to live every moment as meaningful as I could.  I made my bucket list and immediately started checking items off of it, jumping out of airplanes or off the top of a building.  Taking my family to watch Michigan play in the Peach Bowl.  I have taken my children places I never thought we would be able to go, I have traveled with lifelong friends to incredible places, I have spent time with college friends I hadn’t seen in years.  I have been able to watch my children grow into young adults.  I have a box for each of my kids, I fill it with things I want them to have when I’m gone.  Family recipes, cards I have written for special occasions I may not be here to enjoy, a journal that I write in for each of them, prayers I say for them.  You see, when you have a terminal illness and you know your life will be cut much shorter than you want, you have time to prepare for these things.  Your able to have tough conversations, you can buy your daughter something blue to have with her on her wedding day. You can mend broken relationships, take care of unfinished business, and plan for the days when your family is here without you.  Of course I pray and strive to be here all of those days, but cancer may not allow that to happen.  When you have a terminal illness, living in the moment becomes very real.  Living with no regrets becomes a priority.  Then sometimes things happen in life, twists and turns and we are reminded yet again we aren’t in control.  The Lord is, he chooses our path.  We get to choose how we react to it.  Three weeks ago our best friend was taken from us unexpectedly.  He was supposed to take care of my family when I was gone.  He was going to be the strong one for them, that was our plan.  Craig didn’t get to prepare to be taken to soon, his parents, siblings, friends none of us got to prepare for him to suddenly be gone. So shouldn’t we all live with no regrets? Each day we should chose the Lord, kindness and love.  All any of us truly have is this moment right now.  As time passes and reality sets in that Craig isn’t going to walk back through our door it becomes more apparent to me than ever to live with no regrets.  

As far as cancer and my health goes, since  I have been on my new treatment plan, I have spent 4 nights in the hospital, had about every side effect my new meds have to offer, kidney stones, another break from treatment as my liver enzymes, potassium, and glucose have all been out of wack and now I’m back on treatment at a lower dose, praying my body tolerates this better.  Well be scanning soon to see if it’s working.  I keep doing all the things I did before and will continue to as long as I can because we should never take our health for granted. 

#getbusyliving 

This is a picture from when we attended the Peach Bowl  one of my favorite memories with some of my favorite people   

Peace and love,

Chris Stark

We knew this day would come.....

     Four and a half years ago when I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer we knew the day would come that my first line treatment would stop working.  I was very blessed to have lived life over cancer for 4 and 1/2 years with minimal side effects.  During a routine scan it was discovered that the breast cancer in the lining of my right lung is growing.  The good news is, it hasn't spread anywhere else!  So what does this mean for us?  It means that I will no longer be taking Ibrance or receive Faslodex.  The cancer has out smarted that line of drugs and its time for something new.  I am working with my oncology team to come up with a new plan.  Right now we are working to determine if the cancer is in an area that can be biopsied.  Breast Cancer over time can change, my original tumor grew off of estrogen, so estrogen blockers were an effective treatment.  A biopsy would be able to tell us what this current tumor is feeding off of and what the best line of treatment would be.  

    The hardest part of all of this is telling my kids.  Bryce (20) is half way through college, still playing football, living on his own, working hard and is such a kind young adult.  It brings me so much joy to watch my kids grow, and become adults and do the things they love.  I don't want them for a second to stop living their life because of me, I don't think they understand the joy it brings a parent to watch them thrive and grow. Peyton (20) is attending Cornerstone University, playing on the basketball team and growing each day into an incredible young man.  Brooke (17) just finishing up her junior year in high school is a thriving student, an athlete who is running in the track state finals, an incredibly hard worker and a pure joy to be around.   My prayer for them is that during these hard and heavy times they turn to the Lord to lift them and help carry their burdens, that they know his plan is bigger than any of ours. 

    We learn so much about ourselves when we face trying times, without a doubt I would be in a dark place if I didn't have Jesus in my life.  I have learned to live for today, this moment make it count.  To be kind, you never know the battle someone else is facing. To do the things that make you happy and bring you joy. Get Busy Living! 

We welcome all prayers, for a good biopsy, strength and healing! 

Love and Peace,

Chris, Jeff, Bryce, Peyton and Brooke

Lauren Daigle - Trust In You (Live) - YouTube

Living on Borrowed Time

Living on borrowed time.  It’s a phrase my husband and I joke about frequently.  Some may call it sick humor, but reality is I’m four years into this 2 to 5 year life span of mine.  Four years with stable scans and no new growth. I consider myself blessed that Ibrance is still working for me. Thank you Pfizer.  On Monday I had my last scan of 2020 and am blessed to celebrate stable! No growth, no shrinking just stable. Stable use to make me sad because I wanted the cancer to shrink. (Trust me I still do) However, I have lost so many friends I have met along my journey that I now feel like I have won the lottery with stable news! 

2020 has brought us all challenges and devastation. I always try to focus on the good that comes out of situations. For me 2020 slowed life down.  We were definitely that family that was overbooked and always on the go.  As one of my favorite people would say, we were always trying to shove 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag.  I have learned a lot about myself in 2020.  I learned what slowing down can do for me physically. How much better I can feel with proper rest and exercise.  How important taking time for myself truly is.  I stopped working my full time career with Blue Sky Vision in October. Instead of waking up to emails, now I wake up pray, sit in the hot tub and do yoga. The amount of energy and peace this has brought me is incredible.  To quit working was a tough decision, I always thought if I stopped working I was letting cancer win, I prayed daily for months regarding the direction I should go.  Then, one day I realized cancer wasn’t winning if I stopped working. I was winning. I finally get to decide who and what gets my energy for the day.  I have rode my bike countless miles since then, read books, sewed gifts, cooked meals and cleaned so many closets out.  I no longer have to rely so heavily on my family to help around the house because I have the extra energy to do things.  Each day I would get out of work and nap, because I was exhausted.  I think I have taken two naps since October.  I truly believe I’m helping my quality of life and extending my life.  It was time to slow down and take care of myself.  I’m so blessed to have this opportunity and so thankful to have the support of my family.  

Do something for yourself today. Even if you simply take 5 minutes to reflect on life. Slow down and do something for yourself. Consider making it part of your daily routine. 

Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2021.

Peace and Hugs,

Chris 

Sharing Faith

                                             



As a young adult if anyone ever told me that I would face cancer at 30 years young, I would of said, that won't happen to me! If anyone would of told me 9 years later at 39 I would be facing stage 4 cancer with no cure, I would of said, that won't happen to me!  If anyone told me that in my lifetime we would experience a world pandemic that would put the United States at a stand still, I wouldn't of believed them.  Again, here we are at this time I didn't think I would ever see.....

I won't lie, in the beginning days of COVID-19, I didn't think that it would stop me from living the life I am used to.  For those of you who know me well you know that I have two motto's that I live by. One is "Get Busy Living" and the other is,"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it is about learning to dance in the rain."  So, of course I was going to get busy living.  No pandemic was going to stop me from our planned vacation. Well it did, it cancelled school, sports, stopped me from stepping foot in a business for an extended period of time and so many other things.  My sons freshman year of college as they have known it on campus has been cut short. The last day my high school daughter spent in a classroom as a sophomore was in March. Bryce and Peyton are swimming in the waters of online zoom classes in our country home with limited WiFi and my daughter is filling her time trying new recipes, learning to cook and bake instead of attending high school and running track.  Life feels like we are living in a bad movie some days.

We all have a different story. Our reasons for the way we react to this pandemic are all different. For me it is because I have a weakened immune system even though most days I appear to be very healthy.  I have breast cancer in my lungs, COVID-19 would likely kill me. Some days it overwhelms me to no end, on those days I pray for strength. Some days I am so productive I forget the nightmare we are living in right now, those days I thank God for the strength I was given. Some people have fear because they are suddenly not be working and will loose health insurance or not be able to pay bills during this time.  Some people maybe recovering addicts now stuck at home and isolated.  Some are having to change wedding plans and baby showers, some are dying alone because visitors aren't allowed in many hospitals.  Whatever your story is you are in my prayers.  If you aren't a believer you still have my prayers.  I haven't stepped foot in a business in over 23 days.  Daily I walk or ride my bike, usually to the Lakeshore because that is my happy place. I didn't hoard toilet paper during this pandemic, I was a paint hoarder previously to the pandemic, for over a year I have had 6 gallons of paint sitting in my basement waiting for a rainy day or the energy to paint. Needless to say we have found ways to also put the paint to good use with our extra time.  We have had our children take turns preparing dinner.  It has been fun to see what they come up with and how independent they can be. The boys have been chopping and stacking wood.  Brooke stays busy organizing things and working out.  It brings a smile to my face watch her sprint past the window when I look outside. I am working, but from home which I thank God daily for. Jeff is laid off due to COVID-19, we don't usually take stay-cations, whenever we use vacation time we are usually off exploring somewhere, so many of our unfinished projects are being completed while he is home.  This is all new to us, and we would much rather be carrying on with life as we knew it two months ago, I thank God everyday we are under one roof together, that we are healthy and finding ways to keep busy. I personally could not get through this tough time without my Faith in God.  Prayer keeps me strong when it could be so easy to be weak.

Regardless of your political views, rather you like Trump or not, want Governor Whitmer recalled or think she is doing a great job. Maybe you lost a loved one during this pandemic and didn't get to lay them to rest the way you needed, to have the closure.  You might own a business big or small and fear it may not make it through this pandemic. You might be home with young kids driving you crazy, or home all alone like our 93 year old Grandmother is. You might have been in the middle of infertility treatments and now those are put off. Maybe you are working on the front lines exposed to COVID daily.  Whatever it is you are doing,  it is a scary time. Sometimes that fear makes me say things or act in ways I don't want to.  Each time I start to feel fear take over, I remind myself, "Faith over Fear"  Faith over Fear is what keeps me pushing through living life with cancer and it will be what gets me through the trying times of this global pandemic. If I can pray for you, please send me a message and let me know!  I would be honored to say a prayer for you too. 




One of my favorite worship songs...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGYjKR69M6U



Peace and Hugs,
Chris