No News is GOOD News

Many friends have reached out lately to see how I am doing, so I thought I would give an update.  I am GREAT!  Honestly, I feel really good.  Lately we have done some adjusting to my medication schedule, which has resulted in more sleep and I feel awesome!  I am slowly starting to exercise again, I am eating well, making my own juices, working and having a ton of fun.  I am learning to live with the menopause hot flashes which really are my biggest complaint right now, they are more annoying than the side effects of my medication.  I won't lie, I take a quick nap just about everyday, but I think that is just part of learning to adjust to the new normal and balancing the side effects that come along with my cancer and medications.

My next scan to see how my therapy is working is scheduled for June 29th, prayers for shrinking tumors are always welcome.

We have been busy celebrating graduations and weddings.  Below are a few fun pictures of my family from a recent family wedding.  I had to pull out the cancer card to get my brother Wesley to put on his precious prince crown and pose in the silly picture, but hey it worked!

I love summertime in Michigan and nothing beats the sandy lakeshore of Lake Michigan, we purchased kayaks so we could enjoy more of the simple things in life and we have had  a blast so far doing just that.  I told myself I would kayak at least once a week, and so far I have.  Below is a picture of a few of my "squad' members and I enjoying the beauty of the lake.

In July I am checking more off my bucket list and visiting NYC with one of my besties Susan Collins.  I am so blessed to be able to travel share special memories with friends. I am also turning 40 this summer. I will be celebrating that birthday for an entire week, maybe even the whole month of August. :)

We never know what the Lord's plan for us is, but we know he has an amazing plan.  I have been praying about my journey with Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC).  There has to be so much more than just living and dying with MBC. A few months ago I applied for a scholarship opportunity with "Living Beyond Breast Cancer" and after an interview with them I was awarded a scholarship to take a three day course on Breast Cancer Advocacy.  The course is in Boston in July. So, I am super excited to have the opportunity to work with other MBC women like me.  I don't know where this will take me in life, but I know I want to make a difference to others somehow.

The kids are great, after several months they talked us into getting a puppy.  Below is a picture of Cleo our chocolate lab.  She is a great pup so far and we are enjoying having her in our family. School is out and the kids are busy.  Bryce is working at Wirtz Electric where Jeff works and Brooke is busy being social.  Both are participating in summer workouts and sports camps.  Bryce will be entering 11th grade and Brooke 8th.  Time does fly!

Be sure to catch a sunset this summer, ride a wave, build a sand castle and enjoy all that life has to offer.  All we have is this moment, make your moment count.

Peace and Hope,
Chris

Genetics, Hot Flashes, Mutations, Chemo, Appointments and Vacations. I like Vacations Best!

Here we are, the end of April..... I was diagnosed the end of November.  I am about to start my 6th month of chemotherapy.  How am I doing? I really am tolerating my treatment well. Hot flashes from the instant menopause are grueling and keep me up at night, but I can live with that. I still have my long hair, I have a nice golden tan from my recent trip to the Bahamas. I am working full time and really try to be grateful for each day. Of course I am grateful.... I have so much to be grateful for. I have a wonderful support system and people everywhere offering me help.  Yet I find myself so lonely.  Cancer is lonely, stage 4 cancer is really lonely. I realize we are all dying, any one of us can be taken from earth at any time. All any of us have is THIS moment but that is made much more precious when living with terminal cancer. I haven't taught my kids everything they need to know yet, I still have a long bucket list, I want to learn to sew, I want to become a good cook, I want to travel the world. See a volcano, a glacier. I want to climb a mountain.  I need to get busy living with cancer, preparing for a future yet I feel like I need to prepare for the future without me in it also... I wake up each day and try to take it for what it is... I try to live in the moment, live in the present. Cherish each moment with those I love, yet I can't get cancer, stage 4 cancer off my mind. How long will I feel well? How long before my cancer will out smart my treatment? It's exhausting... Keep surrendering to the Lord, Chris.... I keep telling myself that.

I have learned after my 3rd round of genetic testing that I carry the Palb2 gene which is a newly discovered gene linked to breast cancer, and I also may carry the MSH2 gene known as Lynch Syndrome  which is linked to numerous cancers. I am still waiting for a final report to come from the University of Michigan to determine the MSH2 mutation.  So, now I find myself reading, and reading about what to eat,  what to take, what to do. To help reduce any greater risks for myself and my kids, each of them have a 50 percent chance of carrying these mutations.  At some point we will have them tested. My genetics counselor suggested Brooke have her first mammogram at age 20.  In 2008 when I was first tested the only known Breast Cancer mutations were the BRCA 1 and 2 genes.  In 2014 when tested again there were 16 known mutations and today there are over 30 known mutations linked to breast cancer.  That is a lot of advancement in 9 years, but it isn't enough.  My Palb2 mutation is so newly discovered that they don't know a lot about how to treat patients with it,  or what works best.  I am enrolled in a case study and U of M is following my case.   I want to know everything I can about this gene and what we can do in the future to prevent loved ones from becoming stage 4 as I did.

Life is good.  For spring break we spent 4 days in Charleston S.C. being tourist and learning about history of S.C. Then we took a 5 night cruise to the Bahamas, soaked up a ton of sunshine, relaxed on beaches, and ate amazing food. It was so nice to be waited on for 5 days.  Brooke is currently playing softball and running track. Bryce is spending a lot of time in the gym working on football and basketball.  I am working full time and also the assistant coach of our JV softball team.  I find keeping busy helps me keep my mind off of cancer.  I won't lie, many days my plate feels overloaded, but I am learning to balance and learning to let some other things go. Jeff is busy holding down the fort at home, he is usually in charge of dinner and making sure Brooke gets everywhere she needs to be. Lucky for him my softball season is much shorter than his football season. His duties at home will soon be changing as we shift gears in seasons.  I have figured out how to live with stage 4 cancer, I have learned what I can handle at this point, when I need a nap and when to say no, now if I could just settle the anxiety that comes along with my diagnosis that would be great. My next scan is in June, we hope to spend the summer celebrating stability, enjoying Michigan beaches, kayaking, and maybe checking another trip off my bucket list.

Peace and Hope,
Chris and family.

Here are a few pictures from our great trip!

Good News and lots of Memories

I have successfully completed three months of my oral chemo (Ibrance). Fatigue and nausea are my biggest complaints, but nothing I can't work through and it certainly isn't stopping me from living life. On Tuesday I had my first CT to see how the treatment is working. Today I met with Dr. Alguire for the results. I have breast cancer on my left lung and that area is unchanged. In the world of stage 4 cancer, unchanged is one of the treatment goals. My treatment is designed to hopefully stop cancer from growing while possibly shrinking tumors as well. I also have cancer in lymph nodes in my abdominal area some close to my heart.  Those areas are shrinking, so this is GREAT news!  While we are all praying for a miracle, and for the cancer to go away, the news that I am stable and some areas are shrinking is fantastic.

Moving forward we keep doing what we are doing.  21 days of chemo with a 7 day  break along with monthly injections of Faslodex. Working full time, keeping up with my busy kids, coaching softball and living life. So far this year we escaped to the Caribbean with good friends for a few nights.I had the honor and privledge to meet with members of the famous Christian band "Big Daddy Weave" This group and my sweet friend Angela and Jeff prayed over me, and how powerful that was.  God is working and we see it.  I was also able to help surprise a bestie with a trip to Vegas to celebrate her 40th Birthday. I jumped 855 feet off a building which was truly amazing and for spring break we are going on a cruise with our kids and good friends.  We are finding balance with life, and learning to live through treatment, enjoying life even with stage 4 cancer. Someone told me I make having cancer look easy.   It certainly isn't easy, but it does really put life in perspective.  I don't know how many good scans we will have, or how long my treatment will out smart the cancer, but I do know I am going to live each moment while I feel good!

My family thanks everyone for the prayers, they keep us strong when it would be easy to be weak.  They also show healing in my body and we are so grateful for that. Attached are some pictures from our recent escapes of reality and yes, that is me in the air! Jumping 855 feet, it was awesome and I can't wait to cross some more thrilling adventures off my bucket list.

Peace and Hope,
Chris and family

Blessed

It has been 60 days since I received the phone call that my breast cancer had metastasized to my lung. What a whirlwind of fear, prayers, sadness, prayers, anxiety, prayers, questions, more prayers, more surgery, the start of chemo and many many more prayers the last 60 days has been.

The phone call came the day after Thanksgiving, just as I was about to walk out the door to celebrate the upcoming birth of a new family member.  The next 30 days were filled with doctors appointments, Christmas celebration after celebration and the start of a New Year.  Life was so busy we hardly had time to really absorb the new reality ahead of us and the fact that stage 4 breast cancer has no cure, for the rest of my life here on earth I would be receiving chemotherapy treatments.

As the Christmas Season came and went and 2017 started, the meals, love and support continue flood us. We are so grateful for that. However, as life settled back in and the kids returned to school I started to slip into a dark place. I tried my best to hide it from my family and friends. I tried to hide the sadness and fear that was filling my soul. I put a smile on my face, went to work, games etc just as anyone would expect from me. Inside though I felt like I was dying.....

The sermon series at church this month is "Surrender" and each day I would do just that.  I would surrender my fears to God and have enough strength to get through the day. I used to find so much peace in being alone, I would long for kids bedtimes so I could have a hour alone. But suddenly being alone was scary for me. It gave me time to think and made my mind run wild and full of fear. Sleepless nights, and so much anxiety.  All I could do was what I knew to do and that was to keep praying and keep surrendering.

On January 15th, I went to visit a friend in the hospital.  Someone just starting their own roller coaster ride with cancer, only she didn't get a chance to fight. Her ride ended far to soon. My friend died that same day. That weighed so heavy on my mind for days and still does.  It was that day that I started to realize, yes I do have metastatic breast cancer. I understand there is no cure, but I am tolerating my treatment well, my side effects are manageable and I am finding balance in what I can do and what I need to let go. So why would I spend time being sad and depressed?  I need to get busy living.  Enjoying family, friends, work, and LIFE. Because I am here and I still have a LIFE. I have cancer, but I can't let cancer have my spirit.

In the past month the little community I am blessed to live in that sits on beautiful White Lake has blessed me beyond measures. It started with the Montague vs Whitehall girls basketball game becoming a pink out event, honoring and showing love and support for me and my family.  The bleachers were packed in pink, and the gym was full of positive energy the entire evening.

My family attends Evangelical Covenant Church of Whitehall Michigan and last night our dear friend Craig Smith who is the Youth and Worship Pastor along with so many other wonderful people held the most amazing worship service for our family.  We were blessed with a huge crowd of family, friends and even strangers. Showing love and support to us, wonderful music by a variety of people, some jokes, poems and so many prayers. My family left the worship last night with full hearts.  It is such a gift to be blessed by our community.  We tried to acknowledge each person who attended, but as we read through the cards we realized we missed so many of you.  Please know we are so overwhelmed by the presence of everyone and we thank God for all of you touching our lives, praying for us, and helping us ease the financial burden that comes with cancer.

 We are so blessed and our God is an awesome God!

I am just about finished with my second round of chemo, and tolerating things well. Learning to balance life with the side effects. I will have a scan in about one month and we will see how my cancer is reacting to my treatment so far. I am learning that life is good and can continue to be good even with stage 4 cancer!

Peace and Hope,
Chris Stark and family



 

21 days of Chemo

Some do the 21 day fix work out plan. I just finished my first 21 days of chemo plan.  To be honest, it went great!  We lived life as normal with minimal side effects.  We enjoyed Christmas with family and friends. As I embark on my first stretch of 7 days off of chemo, I am headed to St. Mary's in Grand Rapids tomorrow to have my ovaries removed.  As you may recall my breast cancer thrives off of estrogen, so removing the ovaries will eliminate a lot of estrogen in my body with hope to keep the cancer  from growing any more.

Surgery is scheduled for 2:00 pm for those of you who want to say some prayers at that time, we welcome them.

I am off of chemo until Wednesday and then we will start the next 21 day cycle.

The picture above was taken by my dear friend Christi Marsh a few weeks ago, and as teenagers would have it, Bryce got his haircut a few days later....  We will have to do some more pictures soon, as he hardly looks like the same kid.

Peace and Hope,
Chris

Accepting

I have found it a challenge this week to accept my diagnosis....

I have officially started all of my treatments. I started with an injection of Zoladex.  This is a hormone based chemotherapy that is used to shut down my ovaries.  I will receive Zoladex every 28 days until I have my ovaries removed. If my white blood cells corporate with us, I will have my ovaires removed on December 30th. Last week I started taking Ibrance otherwise known as palbociclib. This is the oral chemo I take for 21 days with a 7 day break and then repeat. I ended last week with an injection of Faslodex.  Faslodex is a form of chemotherapy used to stop your body from producing any estrogen that is left after the ovaries are shut down. I receive this every 14 days, eventually tapering down to every 28 days for life or until it stops working. My weekend was great, I was full of energy and enjoyed each moment.  As the days go on, and I continue treatment I am feeling the effects. I am tired, actually exhausted at some moments, and my body aches. Nothing I can't tolerate, nothing that I will let slow me down, and nothing I should really complain about, it is the new normal.

The last few weeks my life has been so consumed with working on a plan and putting it into action that I put all my energy into that. Now that the plan is in place, I have more time to think about the reality of stage 4 cancer. I can't help but find my mind wandering at certain moments, wondering how many of these moments I will get to enjoy. Last week Jeff and I sat through 4 basketball games between the 2 kids. I couldn't help but think I hope I am still here in 5 years sitting in these bleachers. As I Christmas shop I think about buying a gift that has meaning.  Something that my loved ones will remember me by. My mind doesn't shut off, at night I think about the letters I want to write to my children in case I am not here for milestones in in their life, to tell them in person how proud of them I am.  I think of the gifts I want to buy them for special days in their life that I may not live long enough to experience with them. It may sound strange to some, but this is what is on my mind these days. I think these are all probably normal thoughts for someone facing stage 4 breast cancer. I realize that none of us know how long we have here, but knowing you have cells living in your body working against you to kill you really makes you think about life. While these thoughts drift through my mind periodically, I do my best to stay strong and not let cancer bring me down or rob me of anymore time than it already does. But I would be lying if I said I didn't have sad moments.

As we continue to adjust to the "new normal" life really is good. This week I worked a full week, only had one doctors appointment, went to yoga a few times with my Mom and friends and sat through a few more basketball games...  Life is good, even with cancer.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Peace and Hope,
Chris

Gratitude....

Gratitude, tonight I attended a Heated Vinyasa class at Muskegon Yoga taught by Fred Meston with my friend Stephanie. I am a yoga beginner so Heated Vinyasa was a little much, but it felt great, and definitely gave me some yoga goals!  At the end of the class, as we slowed the mind and relaxed the body, Fred told us to think about gratitude. Well, instantly my first thought was how am I to find gratitude in my life right now?  What brought me here? I am not thankful for stage 4 cancer. Then I took a deep breathe, calmed myself and really thought about life and what it means.

By all means, the cancer part totally sucks. Any type of cancer sucks, but stage 4 cancer really sucks. Reading my medical summaries sucks. It is like a bad dream, only really it is reality and reality sucks.

In the midst of reality, I still have so much to be thankful for. I have a loving family that cares so deeply for me.  I have amazing friends. We live in an amazing community where strangers have reached out to our family. I have a loving church family that prays with me and for me. I am surrounded by other area church families that are also praying for me. I have a great job, with awesome co-workers. I feel great, I wake up each day and feel great!  I am so grateful for the last 39 years I have had here on earth and I pray I get 39 more. That is all good stuff to be grateful for.

Last week I met with Dr. Alguire at the Johnson Family Cancer Center.  We put together the rest of the treatment plan. I started some hormone based chemotherapy to shut down my ovaries.  Since my cancer likes estrogen, we need to shut down all the estrogen in my body.  So far I am tolerating that well. Tomorrow I will start my oral chemo treatment.  The treatment is a newer drug and has a great response in patients so far. I will take that drug for 21 days, and then take 7 days off. Then we will repeat the cycle.  Continuing to repeat while monitoring my cancer.  As long as the cancer doesn't grow, we stay on that drug cycle.  The treatment comes with side effects, but hopefully nothing that doesn't allow us to enjoy each day. This treatment also comes with a heavy price tag, one pill is $495 dollars.  Today I was blessed to find out that my insurance agreed to pay for it, and I was awarded a $25,000 grant bringing my monthly copay for the drug down to $10.00 a month.  New chemotherapy treatments, health insurance and grants have been added to my list of things I am grateful for...

So while the reality of my families new normal totally sucks, and we have no idea how long I will continue to feel well.  We are grateful for the days we have and are hopeful we will have many, many more.

 Peace and Hope,
Chris